ANYTOWN (RDMU) - Despite local officials' and residents' hopes,
the monster which destroyed the Northside is back. It emerged
from Lake Anytown at approximately 1:40 p.m. local time and
began setting the Eastside ablaze, eating anything that tried
to run away.
Horrified witnesses describe the attack as even worse than the
beating the Northside took earlier in the hour.
"It breathed a massive cone of fire right onto the dorms," said
singed Anytown University sophomore Gil Rappaport. "All my stuff
was in there. And my girlfriend, I think."
Anytown Police Department officers had not yet arrived on the
scene as of this writing. The scope of the damage has yet to be
calculated, but is certainly massive.