ANYTOWN (RDMU) - Thousands of residents of Anytown's Southside
neighborhood are scurrying out of town in advance of an anticipated
monster attack in that area.
The National Guard is herding evacuees on to buses, but where it
plans to take them is unclear.
"All I know is they told me to get them out," Staff Sgt. Billy
Piece told reporters. "We'll figure out the rest later."
Following the destruction of the Eastside and Anytown University's
massive Bigley Memorial Stadium, the town no longer has a single
facility capable of housing the teeming multitude.
"We're trying to get the Motel 6 just out of town," said Anytown
spokesman Charles Gray. "It's got a pool and several ice makers,
so that'd be good."
Residents of the prosperous and still-standing Westside say they'll
refuse any influx of huddled masses. "This ain't Liberty Island,"
said resident Jimmy Bistle. "What, they can't afford summer homes
About 5,000 residents have been evacuated so far.