National Guard to deploy secret weapon against monster

ANYTOWN (RDMU) - The National Guard is reporting it now has access to

a weapon it says is capable of destroying the monster responsible for

two devastating attacks on Anytown.

No details were released regarding the weapon, except that it's "big

and bad."

Like the rest of us, the Guard is waiting for the monster to resurface,

as it almost certainly will, to renew its attack on Anytown.

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