(RNN) – Months, even years, go into planning a wedding; flowers, guests, food, flowers, location, flowers, disaster preparedness kit ...
That last item may not be something on any wedding planner's check list. But in an effort to remind people to have a disaster kit prepared in case of, well, a disaster, the Center for Disease Control and Prevention released a blog post about being prepared for when things go wrong at your nuptials.
The post is an effort to raise awareness for everyone to prepare for emergencies, and the CDC took a humorous angle to it, pointing out weddings seem to coincide with hurricane season.
The CDC offers some good suggestions. However, as a seven-time bridesmaid and a one-and-only-one-time bride, I can offer tips to prevent an incident that ends up on YouTube and everyone's Facebook page.
The CDC advises the wedding party have an emergency first-aid kit nearby, in case a flower girl falls, or if you have to "revive a passed out reception guest."
I'm sure the CDC means "passed out" in the case of a medical emergency, but if we're being honest, it's more likely someone has been celebrating with champagne or pre-wedding tequila shooters.
If you have a relative or friend – and we all do – who goes overboard with the celebrating, do a pre-wedding intervention. Be calm and polite about your concerns because they could feel under attack. Plus, they're probably hungover.
If Captain Cuervo tells you tough tooties, they've come to have a good time, smile sweet and seat them as far from the bar as possible.
Also, make sure someone in your wedding party has washable marker to draw a mustache on their face when they pass out drunk. That you should post to Facebook.
Just don't tag the photo with their name, you don't want to go too far. Or do, it's your day.
The CDC also advises the wedding party to check the weather and know where a tornado shelter might be. Keep a list of emergency contacts and make someone in the wedding party a point person for all emergencies as well.
I think a point person is a great idea – for obnoxious relatives who push the buttons of the bride or groom. Assign someone to keep that relative away because neither of them need to hear passive-aggressive remarks, such as, "Oh, not wearing pure white, are we?"
Or that they would've gone with a different choice of flowers, food, reception location, wedding dress, cummerbunds, hymns, Bible passages, bridesmaid shoes, invitations, programs, guest book or seating arrangements.
The point person may need duct tape for that. It's good to have around anyway.
The CDC advises in case a ‘Bridezilla' makes an appearance, the emergency kit should have chocolate, bottled water and a sedative.
I'm not sure chocolate is a great idea for people in the warm summer months around a white dress. I know some brides might have a swig of alcohol to calm their nerves, but don't overdo it.
You don't want to be the older sister from Pretty in Pink stumbling down the aisle with a rubber face.
That emergency kit also better have safety pins, double-sided fabric tape, tampons, tissues and wet wipes. Same goes for the groom – except for the tampons. Unless he's prone to nose bleeds, because those suckers are great for stopping them.
Here's my free advice to the bride: you should be prepared for an emergency, because something will go wrong on your special day. You may not know until after the wedding that there was a crasher who peed on a chair that your cousin then sat in (that happened at mine), or the arbor of your favorite flowers falls and hits your maid of honor. Embrace it, roll with it.
You may have your heart set on a specific kind of tulip, but something happened to the truck en route and you won't get them. Go with the alternative the florist offers.
The guests will never know if your bouquet is full of flowers that weren't your first choice unless you tell them. Or post it on the internet. Like now.
If something breaks, someone falls, pukes, or ends up in the emergency room – roll with it. Yes, it'll be awful while it's happening, but you'll have a story to tell at a dinner party, or you can enter the video on America's Funniest Home Videos.
Your wedding will be such a blur, you most likely won't realize something is going wrong. Remember, the event is a celebration – you are starting your life with the person you love – that's the important part.
But be sure and buy travel insurance, just in case a hurricane hits the Bahamas on your honeymoon.
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