Courtesy George Helms
An Alabama possum and an Auburn possum were walking through the woods. They both stepped in a leg-hold trap. After much struggling, the Auburn possum said, "I'm going to chew off my leg and get free." He had decided he could live with three legs and proceeded to chew off his leg. The Alabama possum declined the Auburn possum's invitation to follow suit saying, "No, I'm going to figure a way out." The Auburn possum left and came back the next day to find the Alabama possum still trapped. He told the Alabama possum, "Chew off the leg and let's go!" The Alabam possum replied, "I've already chewed off three legs and I'm still trapped."
Courtesy Justin Richburg - Troy, AL
This is what the test an Auburn Football player must pass to play for Tommy!!!!
Instructions: Find all words in this cross word Puzzle
Time limit 10 minutes.
Good Luck Auburn Fans Dont think to hard!!!
Hope you pass!!!! ROLL TIDE ROLL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The Devil gets angry and says, "Okay, I'll turn it up ten more degrees." The Bama fan takes his shirt off and says this is just like Tuscaloosa in July." The Devil gets more angry and says, "Okay, I will turn it up ten more degrees." The Bama Fan takes off his boots and says, "This is just like Tuscaloosa in August."
So the Devil gets an idea. He turns the heat off and the underworld freezes and a blizzard starts. The Devil says, "That will teach him." Then the Bama fan starts dancing and jumping around and shouting for joy. The Devil goes to the Bama Fan and says, "What's wrong with you? Why are you so happy." The Bama fan says, "Bama just won the National Title!!!!"
How come Bear Bryant kept calling Auburn that "Cow College?"
Because all the bull is in Tuscaloosa
A Bama grad student and an Auburn grad student go swimming in a lake. The Bama student starts to drown and he shouts to the Auburn student, "Help me!" The Auburn student says, "You want me to save you?" The Bama student says, "Yes!" The Auburn student says, "Okay, then stand up!!!"
Question: How do you keep an Auburn player busy?
Answer: Give him a sheet of paper that says, "Turn Over" on both sides.
Question: What is another way to keep an Auburn player busy
Answer: Put him in a round room and tell him to sit in the corner.
There's an Auburn grad, a Georgia grad, and a Vandy grad that all just broke out of jail. They went to hide out in an old animal warehouse. The Georgia grad and Vandy grad each hid in a box and the Auburn grad hid in a bag. The police walked in and knocked on the Vandy guy's box and the Vandy grad replied "MOO!" The police said, "Oh, it's just a cow." After knocking on the Georgia grad's box the police heard the guy reply "OINK, OINK!" The police said, "Oh, it's just a pig." The police shook the Auburn grad's bag and he said POTATOES!
How do you keep an Alabama sorority girl in the shower all day?
Give her shampoo that says lather, rinse, repeat.
Did you hear about the Auburn linebacker that stole a police car?
He saw "911" on the side and thought it was a Porsche.
Do you know what AUBURN stands for?
Alabama Usually Beats Us Round November
What are the longest 3 years of an Auburn football player's life?
His freshman year(s).
A guy goes into a bar and asks the bartender if he wants to hear a good Auburn joke. The bartender says, "Before you tell it, you should know that I am 6-2 and weigh 225 and I'm an Auburn fan. See that guy at the end of the bar? He's 6-4 and weighs 250 and he's an Auburn fan, too. And see the guy at the other end of the bar? He's 6-6 and weighs 280 and he's an Auburn fan, too! Now, do you still want to tell your Auburn joke?" The guy says, "No." To which the bartender smiles and says, "What's the matter? Are you chicken?" The guy says, "No. I just don't want to have to explain it three times."
Tide Fan: "Now what do I do?"
Tech Support: "What is the prompt on the screen?"
Tide Fan: "It's asking for 'Enter Your Last Name.'"
Tech Support: "Ok, so type in your last name."
Tide Fan: "How do you spell that?"
A couple drove several miles down a country road, not say a word. An earlier discussion on which team was better Auburn or Alabama had led to an argument, and neither wanted to concede their position. As they passed a barnyard of mules and pigs, the wife sarcastically asked, "Relatives of yours?" "Naw," the husband replied, "Just the Alabama tide, home for the holidays."
How many Auburn students does it take to change a lightbulb?
100. One to change it, 49 to talk about how good it was, and 50 to take it apart.
Courtesy Jarrod Owens - Highland Home, AL
There was a Tennesee fan, an Alabama fan, and an Auburn fan on a hunting trip. The Tennesee guy goes out and kills 5 deer. The Alabama guy asked him how he did it and the Tennesee guy said I saw tracks, I followed the tracks, and I killed the deer. So the Alabama guy goes out and kills 6 deer. The Auburn guy asked him how he did it and he said I saw tracks, I followed the tracks, and I killed the deer. So the Auburn guy goes out and comes back about an hour later and he is all scratched and bruised up. So the Alabama and Tennesee guys ask him what happened and he said I saw tracks, I followed the tracks, and I got hit by a train.
Courtesy Kim Spencer
A high school senior came home from school one day crying his eyes out. When his mother asked what was wrong, he said, "I entered an essay contest at school, and I cam in second place and won a 4-year scholarship to Awbun." The mother said, "What's wrong with that?" Still sobbing the boy said, "First prize was $50."
An Awbie walks into a doctor's office and says, "Doc, you hafta help me." "What's wrong,"says the doc. "I got a quarter stuck in each ear," says the Awbie. "How long have they been there?" asks the doc. "Over a year," says the Awbie. "Why didn't you come in sooner?" asks the doc. "I didn't need the money," says the Awbie.
Did you hear about the Alabama Football Fans who were driving to Tuscaloosa for a football game? When they saw the sign saying "University of Alabama - Left," they turned around and went home
What's the diffence between an Auburn Cheerleader and an Elephant?
40 pounds. How do you equalize the two? Feed the Elephant.
How many Auburn Cheerleaders does it take to change a lightbulb?
15, One to change it and fourteen to clap and cheer.
Courtesy Martin McDonald - Prattville, AL
All Auburn fans have a problem paying their light bills for only one reason: They can't afford the Alabama Power!!!!!
These three Alabama football players were riding down a back country road and they see this car broke down with three Auburn football players inside. So being the nice football players they are, the Alabama players pick the Auburn players up. The Auburn guys hop in the back of the Alabama pick-up truck but the truck blows a tire and runs off the road into a pond. A few minutes pass and here come the Alabama football players swimming to the shore. All three make it to shore and one player looks at the other ones and says, "Where are the Auburn players?" Another player replied, "They couldn't get the tail-gate down."